Throw Him Away and Get a New One

Perfection, he thought. Absolute perfection.

The smell of frying bacon and fresh coffee stimulated his senses. It was unusual for Mildred, his beloved wife, to be up so early. She must have decided to surprise him with a cooked breakfast before he dropped the kids off at school.

Donning dressing gown and slippers, he all but skipped down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Tarquin and Mathilda, his adorable children, were tucking into a hearty breakfast. Mildred – God bless her – threw a couple of rashers into the frying pain as she hummed a merry tune.

“Good morning!” chirruped Jeremy.

Mildred was startled. “You made me jump!” she complained, placing a hand over her heart. “If you want breakfast, you can make your own. I don’t have time to fetch and carry after you today.”





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