Mail Order Bride

“Lamia, you must be careful how you speak to me. I have brought you into this world, to be my wife, and I will brook no other outcome.”

“Brook no other? What sort of talk is that? You cannot back up your words. What will you have done to me, should I refuse you?”

“Please Lamia, let’s not speak of it. I don’t wish to send you back. Surely we can work through our differences and find an amiable resolution?”

“Send me back? What makes you think you can send me back? I am here to stay, little man, and you had best learn to accept it. You have taken charge of me, like it or not, and you have the responsibility for my welfare, just as you wished.”

I still could not believe my ears. I knew I must play my trump card, and then she would see reason and reexamine her feelings toward me. “Lamia, I am speaking of Dr. Flahaven’s guarantee. My money back if I am not completely satisfied. That means that if I wish, for any reason, I may return you and receive back my payment.”

“Ha!” she laughed. “Dr. Flahaven is a confidence man of the worst degree. You have been swindled, you fool! The terms are thirty days from the date of purchase, and you made your purchase the day you sent your draft to East Orange, Vermont. You cannot send me back, and you shall never see your money again! Now, have you anything else to eat, or shall we signal a coach?”

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