Lenny The Louse

They found Lenny the Louse dead that Friday morning from two gunshot wounds to the chest.  A neighbor heard a noise in the night, but she didn't call the cops until the next morning.  She knew something was wrong when she went outside before breakfast and found her newspaper still lying wrapped in plastic on her lawn.  Lenny, she said in her official statement, always stole her newspaper, read it, and returned it sans the plastic wrapping before she woke up.  Until that morning she had always found it on the lawn, the first few pages soaked with morning dew.


"I never knew the important stuff that was going on in the world," she said.  "The first three pages were always ruined.  I had to watch the TV if I was gonna stay up on the current events, the cheapskate."

Lenny the Louse was born Leonard Dixon to a shoe salesman and a housewife, and by several odd turns of fate found himself in the hair business.  By twenty-two he'd moved to Los Angeles and had started a business supplying prosthetic wigs to the local motion picture companies.  He gained his nickname from his love of hair and for the way he clung to the industry like a parasite.

Really, it's misleading to say he loved hair.  He loved the money, and he made quite a bit during his days in Hollywood.  But hair love?  No evidence ever supported this theory.

But his position did put him close to celebrities, and he, lived off their fame, style, and glitz for three decades.

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