Killer Colonoscopy

“Ah, lad, the mind’s wandering in my old age, here’s me thinking you had a shady past,” said Whiskers.  “Well, tomorrow, call me back.”

 

Later, lying in the dark beside Sophia, Cedric thought about that hapless banker.  He and Whiskers, hired by a small kidnapping consortium out of Hong Kong, had taken the terrified man to a cement-block building in a mangrove forest in the steaming middle of nowhere.  And there they had stayed.  It was supposed to be a quick turn-around.  The consortium carefully vetted all targets, confirming their financial status, checking their credit reports, analyzing their investments, so there was no question the family could afford to ransom him.  But after several weeks of negotiations that repeatedly broke down, it became clear that his wife didn’t actually want him back.

“The bloody bitch,” wept the banker.

“Got another bloke?” asked Whiskers.

“Must have,” the banker sobbed.  He wiped his tears and said, “Whoever it is must be filthy rich.”  He considered this, then began to cry again.





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