I Have My Addictions


They’ve questioned what happened that winter night. “Why did she turn to drugs?” “What caused her death?” “What was her mindset?” The media plastered it all over the newspapers “another young drug related death” in an attempt to sell my story for the price of the black and white paper. My parents wept in a televised plea for an Antidrug Campaign. “We didn’t know what was going on. We knew she was going to a party but we had no idea she was involved with drugs”

Addiction is a strong word, ‘a Compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance.’ Becoming dependant on drugs to have a good time was something I always said would never happen to me, and it didn’t.

However, taking a drug is a decision you make yourself in which you take full responsibility for. Except, the responsibility for what happened to her that night in December is in fact, partly mine.

shock of falling and then one of the stairs hitting you hard in the middle of your back. It was painful. You were gone.” I hung my head trying to pull myself together, trying not to break down. “I just wish you spoke to me first before just stealing the LSD from my room. What were your last thoughts? I over-think the last words I said to you before you left for that party... that hurts even more. I shouted at you for drinking all the orange juice. It sounds so petty now.” I exhaled. “The only comfort I have is the voicemail you left me that night, before you took the blotter soaked in the hallucinogenic drug. I listen to it most days to remember your voice- I would never forgive myself if I forgot it.

A vast selection of flowers surrounded the grave. I had bought Daisies for her, and a card in an envelope. “Goodbye Daisy. I love you, see you soon” I said.

It should have been me in that grave; it should have been me who took that bad tab of LSD. Prison was the only thing keeping me alive, and now I wasn’t in Prison.





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This is me: home-writer, book-reader, dog-lover and occasional poet. I make this website to share my and my friends texts with You, dear Reader. Please: read carefully, don't be scary, upgrade your mood and be king and leave your comment. :)